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Funny Firm show prep highlights for the week of August 3-9, 2020
A
12-year-old girl has been reunited with her ring after it went missing
while planting garlic at a garden in Maine. Madison Cooper was
given the ring by her grandmother, who received it as a gift from her
late husband. Nine months later, someone found the ring as the
plant pushed the jewelry back to the surface. The grandmother
says it is an omen from her husband. *Isn't it amazing how
quickly a story can go from inspiring to creepy. (Paul Dudley)
According
to the Labor Department, 'fitness training' is one of the fastest
growing occupations. *Read all about it in the new issue of "Things
that in No Way Affect Me, Weekly." (Dave Vincent)
The
parent company of Men's Wearhouse and Jos. A. Banks is filing for
bankruptcy. Menswear retailer Tailored Brands, filed for Chapter
11 protection as sales plunged during the pandemic. *If they only would
of had the foresight to be selling sweat pants instead of suits four
months ago. (Paul Dudley)
Recalls
of bagged salad products contaminated with Cyclospora continue to roll
in as the CDC and FDA work to trace all products from producer Fresh
Express. *This is why, for my own health and safety, I only eat
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. (Dave Vincent)
The
California Department of Transportation is using goats to help prevent
wildfires. Caltrans says it has "hired" 400 goats to eat brush
along a Highway as part of an eco-friendly mission. Goats are
efficient at eating grass because they can clear an
acre-and-a-half-a-day. *And participate in a yoga class at the
same time. (Paul Dudley)
Indianapolis
Motor Speedway has decided not to allow fans at the Indy 500 later this
month. I don’t know if I trust those guys without spectators. *They
might try to go for The Indy 375 just to save gas. (Bill Williams)
Microsoft
announced a plan to produce zero waste within the next decade. *So your
next Microsoft computer will have changed its famous command to
Control-Alt-Recycle. (Bill Williams)
An
outbreak of Cyclospora infections have been linked to bagged salad
mix. *And just like that, my diet of nothing but Slim Jims and
pork rinds pays off. (Dave Vincent)
The
World's Longest Yard Sale is still on, regardless of the Pandemic. The
Yard Sale now covers 690 miles from Addison, Michigan to Gadsden,
Alabama and boasts thousands of vendors every year. *It spans six
states, two hundred cities, and 85 million meth labs. (Dave
Vincent)
ABC
Entertainment President Karey Burke has confirmed that all the stars on
American Idol will return next season. Not returning to "American Idol"
next season? *The audience! (Dave Vincent)
A
website just created a list of the top '20 Warning Signs That Tell You
Old Age Is on the Horizon.' *The good news: I didn't see any that
applied to me. The bad: because I left my reading glasses at the dog
park. (Dave Vincent)
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