Two
gorillas at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park have tested positive for
COVID-19. Tests detected the virus on January 8. *Testing a
gorilla for coronavirus is relatively simple...although finding someone
to shove a Q-tip up a gorillas nose can be tough. (Paul Dudley)
A
study says New Year’s resolutions explain why marijuana use drops at
the start of the year and then increases as December arrives. Geez,
another waste of government money! *Pot use increases because
being stoned is the only way to watch Christmas movies on the Hallmark
Channel. (Bill Williams)
A
study shows that IQ scores are decreasing. *Meanwhile, Keeping up
with the Kardashians ratings are increasing. Coincidence?
(Dave Vincent)
Tech
company Razer says its new video game chair will fully immerse players
in video games. The gaming chair unveiled at CES on Tuesday comes
with a display that surrounds the gamer's field of vision. A video game
chair? *If they really knew gamers, they'd be making a video game
couch. (Paul Dudley)
A
woman from Santa Fe once stabbed her boyfriend repeatedly after she
caught him cheating at Monopoly. *. . . In other words, he was
bad at Monopoly but according to his wife even worse at Monogamy.
(Dave Vincent)
Twitter says it processes over 200 billion Tweets per year. *Only 12 of them are readable. (Dave Vincent)
Netflix
is signing a distribution deal with comedian/actor Kevin Hart.
The streaming service confirmed the deal, noting that it would be the
exclusive host for four upcoming movies. *Of course since it's Kevin
Hart they'll be short films. (Paul Dudley)
A
Florida Man drove an airboat down city streets, knocking over trash
cans while shooting off fireworks, then threatened to kill his
arresting officer. *He was charged with Florida's most serious
crime of 'not being on meth.' (Dave Vincent)
HBO
has announced a reboot of Sex and The City. The show will follow
the characters Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte as they head into
friendship in their 50s. *Wait, are they in their 50s, or were they
born in the 50s? (Paul Dudley)
Forbes
has named Kylie Jenner as the Highest Paid Star of 2020, as she earned
just under $600 million. *The last time Kylie was this proud of
herself was...probably earlier today, actually. (Dave Vincent)
Following
the lead of singer Bob Dylan, rocker Neil Young is selling a stake of
the rights to his music library. The exact price of the deal has not
yet been revealed. *Now, with all this cash, both of them can
finally take some singing lessons. (Paul Dudley)
Demi
Lovato has announced that her 7th album is scheduled for 2021. *So
great news for 12-year-old girls and people with absolutely no taste in
music. (Dave Vincent)
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