The Funny Firm - Show prep

Pope Francis delivered his Sunday prayer and message from the chapel of his Vatican residence instead of from the balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. The Pope's remarks were televised so he didn't have to venture outside in the cold. *OK, this whole work from home thing has officially gone too far. (Paul Dudley)

Video out of Disneyland shows a streaker on the iconic "It's a Small World" ride. A man reportedly stripped down and started roaming around and then jumped into the water completely naked before being carried away by police. *After jumping into the water naked it was a...small, small world for him indeed. (Rick Fancy)

A man was arrested Tuesday afternoon for allegedly trashing a Yuba City, California Target store with a baseball bat. Police say Macio Barilla, caused at least one-hundred-thousand dollars damage during his rampage. *He is however being scouted by several last place MLB teams. (Paul Dudley)

Some members of Generation Z might not be able to make it home for the holidays. A Credit Karma survey finds many Gen Z Americans won't be able to afford traveling home for the holidays because of their student loan payments. *Times have changed, I used to avoid going home because of my grades. (Paul Dudley)

Retailers across the nation welcomed shoppers on Black Friday. More Americans are taking their shopping online, making Black Friday less important. *Last year was awesome shopping in my underwear...right up until they kicked me out of the Family Dollar store. (Paul Dudley)

On this date in 2009, golf superstar Tiger Woods was involved in a car accident that later led to revelations of infidelity and eventually Woods' divorce from Elin Nordegren. *Turned out Tiger’s definition of the 19th hole was different than most people. (Rick Fancy)

Google's former CEO says A.I. could endanger humanity within the decade. Eric Schmidt said the dangers of AI begin when "the computer can start to make its own decision to do things," including discovering weapons. *Forget weapons, the real problem comes when A.I. figures out how to order Grub Hub and watch Netflix all day. (Paul Dudley)

The latest Auto Reliability study from Consumer Reports finds Detroit's automakers did not perform well. The top five spots were taken by imported cars, while Buick was the best performing U.S. brand at number 12. *So clearly American senior citizens know how to pick reliable cars. (Paul Dudley)

Houston is one of the "Most Sinful Cities in America." Website WalletHub compared over 180 cities across 40 key indicators of "vices and illicit behavior." The only city that's more sinful than Houston is Las Vegas. *In this situation, second place can officially be called...first place loser. (Rick Fancy)

A Connecticut woman is suing the salad chain Chopt, claiming she found part of a finger in her salad. The woman claims she has suffered from shock, panic attacks, traumatic stress, nausea and neck and shoulder pain. *Of course, all normal reactions most Americans have when they actually eat a healthy salad. (Paul Dudley)

Popular Science will no longer be offered as a magazine. The 151-year-old publication printed its last physical copy in 2018, but an online version that has been around since, will be scaled back. *Readers are being asked to pour out the contents of their pocket protectors on the Popular Science grave this afternoon at 3:14. (Paul Dudley)

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are shopping for a house in Los Angeles. Harry said in 2020, they secretly lived in Los Angeles, undetected for weeks, saying even the Royal Family thought they went to Canada. *It’s odd the royal family thought Harry and Meghan would go to Canada...when the family clearly instructed them to GO to hell. (Paul Dudley)

In 2019, The Pope returned a wood fragment to Bethlehem believed to be from Jesus' manger. *The old scrap wood was left over when they updated the inside of birthplace to a mid-century modern manger. (Rick Fancy)

Mark Wheeler

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