The Funny Firm - Show prep

A 12-year-old girl has been reunited with her ring after it went missing while planting garlic at a garden in Maine. Madison Cooper was given the ring by her grandmother, who received it as a gift from her late husband. Nine months later, someone found the ring as the plant pushed the jewelry back to the surface. The grandmother says it is an omen from her husband. *Isn't it amazing how quickly a story can go from inspiring to creepy. (Paul Dudley)

According to the Labor Department, 'fitness training' is one of the fastest growing occupations. *Read all about it in the new issue of "Things that in No Way Affect Me, Weekly." (Dave Vincent)

The parent company of Men's Wearhouse and Jos. A. Banks is filing for bankruptcy. Menswear retailer Tailored Brands, filed for Chapter 11 protection as sales plunged during the pandemic. *If they only would of had the foresight to be selling sweat pants instead of suits four months ago. (Paul Dudley)

Recalls of bagged salad products contaminated with Cyclospora continue to roll in as the CDC and FDA work to trace all products from producer Fresh Express. *This is why, for my own health and safety, I only eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. (Dave Vincent)

The California Department of Transportation is using goats to help prevent wildfires. Caltrans says it has "hired" 400 goats to eat brush along a Highway as part of an eco-friendly mission. Goats are efficient at eating grass because they can clear an acre-and-a-half-a-day. *And participate in a yoga class at the same time. (Paul Dudley)

Indianapolis Motor Speedway has decided not to allow fans at the Indy 500 later this month. I don’t know if I trust those guys without spectators. *They might try to go for The Indy 375 just to save gas. (Bill Williams)

Microsoft announced a plan to produce zero waste within the next decade. *So your next Microsoft computer will have changed its famous command to Control-Alt-Recycle. (Bill Williams)

An outbreak of Cyclospora infections have been linked to bagged salad mix. *And just like that, my diet of nothing but Slim Jims and pork rinds pays off. (Dave Vincent)

The World's Longest Yard Sale is still on, regardless of the Pandemic. The Yard Sale now covers 690 miles from Addison, Michigan to Gadsden, Alabama and boasts thousands of vendors every year. *It spans six states, two hundred cities, and 85 million meth labs. (Dave Vincent)

ABC Entertainment President Karey Burke has confirmed that all the stars on American Idol will return next season. Not returning to "American Idol" next season? *The audience! (Dave Vincent)

A website just created a list of the top '20 Warning Signs That Tell You Old Age Is on the Horizon.' *The good news: I didn't see any that applied to me. The bad: because I left my reading glasses at the dog park. (Dave Vincent)

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