The Funny Firm - Show prep

Carnival Cruise Line is canceling cruises into 2021 and beyond as the coronavirus pandemic continues to impact travel. The Miami-based company says some ships won't be sailing until well into next year. *Apparently Conga lines just aren't as much fun with 6 feet of social distancing. (Paul Dudley)

NASA’s next trip to the Moon will include the first female astronaut to walk on the Moon. *That’s one small step for womankind, one giant leap for the little black spacesuit. (Bill Williams)

An Oregon man shot himself in the groin while showing off a gun in a supermarket checkout line. *People knew he was crazy before, but now they see he's only nuts.(Dave Vincent)

A recent study reveals marijuana use is on the rise among older adults. Researchers say men 60 to 64 reported the highest rates with more than 12 percent saying they used the drug in the past month. *Good news for pot shops, bad news for all-you-can-eat early-bird buffets. (Paul Dudley)

An Illinois man is celebrating the 60th birthday of a sandwich that he has kept frozen ever since it was half-eaten by Richard Nixon during a campaign stop in 1960. He knows everything about Nixon, including what he really said in that 1973 speech. *I am not a cook. (Bill Williams)

A report from a University claims that from 2011 to 2017, 259 deaths worldwide have been attributed to people taking selfies in dangerous locations. *So, hey, who says there's never any good news? (Dave Vincent)

Because of Coronavirus shutdowns, the company that makes Peeps, says its holiday-themed marshmallow treats won't be in stores this year for Halloween, Christmas, or Valentines Day. *This is either good news or bad news...just depends on whether you've actually tried to eat Peeps. (Paul Dudley)

"The 39th Annual Forbes 400 Ranking Of The Richest Americans," is finally out. Forbes makes me feel so poor. *Then I go to Walmart and stare at the people and feel rich again. (Dave Vincent)

Apple has pushed back the release date of their highly anticipated $700 iPhone to October. Seven hundred dollars? *How do I tell my kids they're doing homemade Halloween costumes again this year? (Dave Vincent)

Numerous state fairs are rolling out Food Drive-Thru's due to the coronavirus. Guidelines are in place Arizona, Texas, North Carolina, and Minnesota to allow for people to enjoy fair food from their car. *So which is more dangerous, Covid-19, or fried cheese, funnel cakes and turkey legs? (Paul Dudley)

A 36 year old Florida woman was arrested for testing out product in an adult-themed sex store's main lobby. *She was reportedly upset about being arrested, but couldn't wait for the handcuffs. (Dave Vincent)

Both Facebook and Instagram are up-and-running again. Company officials said technicians made repairs after the social media giants went down Thursday. Pop-ups would only say they were working to fix the issue. *For a while yesterday, technicians working on Facebook were the only people on Facebook who were actually working. (Paul Dudley)

Brach’s has introduced a new "turkey dinner flavored" Candy Corn. *So if you love the taste of turkey and you love the taste of Candy Corn, you’re about to realize how much you love them separately. (Dave Vincent)

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