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Funny Firm show prep highlights for the week of September 26 - September 30, 2022      

An international team of soccer players have broken a Guinness World Record by playing a game in zero gravity.  Two four-man teams played a game at 20-thousand-230-feet last month on an airplane fitted with an on-board soccer field.  *They hope to eventually return to space for the world's first zero-gravity soccer riot.  (Paul Dudley)

Police in Grand Island, Nebraska are investigating a large-scale beef theft.  Authorities say a carrier company loaded up two semis with fresh beef last week, but the meat never made it to its intended destination.  Investigators say the stolen beef is worth more than 277-thousand-dollars. *277-thousand-dollars worth of someone with a backyard smoker...priceless.  (Paul Dudley)

Lizzo stunned at her Washington, DC concert as she played former President James Madison's never-used crystal flute.  The classically-trained flute player borrowed the instrument on loan from the Library of Congress. Lizzo shouted "we just made history tonight" onstage to her cheering fans. *Just as long as she doesn't start talking about band camp.  (Paul Dudley)

Starting next week, McDonald's will offer toys in "adult" meal boxes, repackaging the chain's Happy Meal into something for an older audience.  Each Cactus Plant Flea Market Box comes with a meal and either a Grimace, Hamburglar, Birdie, or Cactus Buddy figurine.  *No word if it comes with an adult sippy cup for a little mid-day orange juice and vodka eye opener.  (Paul Dudley)

A new report claims half of the world's bird species are in decline.  BirdLife International has released its State of the World's Birds report and claims that 73-percent of bird species are under stress from the expansion of agriculture.  *Apparently a large number of birds are heavily invested in soy futures.  (Paul Dudley)

Jimmy Buffet is suspending his tour due to health issues.  The 75-year-old singer is recovering after a "brief hospitalization," according to his team.  Three shows in October will be moved to next spring.  Fans are encouraged to keep their original tickets for the new dates.  *Apparently he blew out his flip-flop and needs a bypass.  (Paul Dudley)

Costco is promising to keep its popular hot dog and soda combo at a dollar-50, despite sky-high inflation.  Chief financial officer Richard Galanti even hinted that the price could remain the same "forever."  *Forever, kind of the like the wait at the checkout line in Costco.  (Paul Dudley)

Where else can you get a meal plus a drink for only a dollar fifty?  *Well, at least not from the trunk of some dudes car.  (Paul Dudley)

Singer Post Malone called off his Boston show Saturday after being hospitalized he had breathing difficulties and pain.  *You'd be in pain too if you had all those face tattoos.  (Paul Dudley)

Khloe Kardashian had a surrogate mother give birth to her child. Like most new moms she wanted to breast feed her baby, but didn't quite understand the concept. *She bought him a frozen chicken breast at Whole Foods. (Bill Williams)

MGM Resorts International is facing a class-action lawsuit.  The suit accuses MGM's casinos of failing to pay cash-out tickets in full.  They're accused of shorting customers by a few cents on millions of slot machine transactions.  *Well, they are called One Armed Bandits for as reason.  (Paul Dudley)

YouTuber PhoneBuff pitted  the iPhone 14 Pro Max in a drop test against its main rival, the Samsung Galaxy S22 Ultra to determine which is more durable. Both phones were dropped onto a hard floor from 5 feet, both sustained about the same amount damage.  *I never drop my phone on the ground, mine always seems to make a soft landing into toilet water.  (Paul Dudley)

Thefts of Kia and Hyundai models soar by 767% across America due to a TikTok Challenge. *How come TikTok can't do a 'primer gray Subaru Impreza' challenge? (Dave Vincent)

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