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Funny Firm show prep highlights for the week of November 29 - December 3, 2021        

Major League Baseball officially locked out its Players Association after the two sides couldn't reach an agreement on a new labor deal.  During the lockout, team officials and players will not be allowed to communicate.  *Except the Houston Astros, they can continue to communicate by banging on trash cans.  (Paul Dudley)

Billie Eilish told the Hollywood Reporter, the public's biggest misconception about her.  The 19-year-old noted, "When you're a fan of something or when you know a lot about something, you feel like you know it personally, and you just don't."  *Spoken like a true modern teenager.  (Paul Dudley)

Dierdre Wolownick just became the oldest woman, at the age of 70, to climb Yosemite's El Capitan.  *But, let's be fair, she was 66 when she started driving to the park.  (Dave Vincent)

Most Americans can expect to gain about eight pounds over the holidays. A survey conducted by OnePoll is revealing that people expect an average weight gain up a pound from last year. *I think for me, gaining ONLY 8 pounds during the holidays is considered wishful thinking.  (Paul Dudley)

News broke over the weekend that Lindsay Lohan is engaged to be married. The 35-year-old actress revealed on Instagram that her boyfriend, Badar Shammas, popped the question.  *Wedding invites are going out to friends of the bride, friends of the groom, and friends of Bill.  (Paul Dudley) 

A 124 year old woman, believed to be the world's oldest person, just passed away.  *Although her Tinder profile had her listed at 63. (Dave Vincent)

Twitter founder Jack Dorsey is stepping down as CEO of the social media company.  *He may no longer act as the Chief Executive of Twitter, but he can sleep well knowing he's retiring as the world's leading twit.  (Paul Dudley)

Patrons at Yorkshire's Tan Hill Inn went to see an Oasis tribute band called Noasis play on Friday night and got snowed in.   A massive storm blanketed the venue with snow during Noasis' show and trapped 61 people for three nights.  *Everyone there agreed  it could have been worse...it could have been a Nickelback cover band.  (Paul Dudley)

Almost 10,000 Facebook members die every day. *Mostly from embarrassment shortly after accepting their parents' friend request.  (Dave Vincent)

Lindsay Lohan is getting married. The 35-year-old actress revealed on Instagram Sunday morning that her boyfriend, Badar Shammas, popped the question. People have questions about the wedding.  *Like, who's the maid of honor, who's the best man, and most importantly, who's the designated driver?  (Paul Dudley)

Keisha Schahaff, a Caribbean island health coach and her teenage daughter will head for space after the mom won two tickets for a Virgin Galactic flight.  *A teenage girl in space...not sure how this will turn out but I'm pretty sure it will involve the folding of arms a lot of eye rolling. (Paul Dudley)

A team of archaeologists have found a mummy estimated to be at least 800 years old on Peru's coast. *And like every other mummy she never admitted to being over 39. (Bill Williams)

The World Buddhism Association Headquarters has filed for a permit to build a tiger sanctuary near The Las Vegas Strip.  The association wants to build retail and restaurant space on that property, and sell alcohol.  *Vegas, Buddhism, wild tigers, alcohol...looks like the script for The Hangover 4 has just written itself.  (Paul Dudley) 

The Pacific Northwest was hit by record breaking atmospheric river storms Thursday.  Washington state got the worst of it in a region that's still recovering from recent record rains.  *For people in the Pacific Northwest this crazy amount of rainfall is called...living in the Pacific Northwest.  (Paul Dudley)




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